My 30th Birthday

       So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.

       So, today is my 30th birthday. It’s nothing like I thought. I now feel like a Y2K conspirator. I assumed that something dramatic would change as I aged the same way that I had done the year before. Instead, I was blessed to be bombarded with love from the ones that matter most to me starting on the 29th of March. It’s really a sobering feeling to think that life really is a journey or a game or a path that we all will embrace in different ways. I am blessed to have a partner in life that will be my biggest supporter and biggest critic all wrapped up in a little warm body. (As an unrelated side note, the woman beside me on our flight bought my first drink which I am drinking at 9 am). Moving on, I am really thankful for how Cassie has evolved me and our relationship. I am even more excited about how our relationship will continue to evolve. It’s seems the future will include marriage, kids, family, wealth building, and all the other surprises that life may bring.  As I look back on my first 30 years, what have I learned? I have always known, but continue to evolve my understanding of the importance of family. I once looked at the term “family”, and thought only of my nuclear family, now the word encompasses so much more. Family represent the people that you are most vulnerable with, the ones you believe in, the ones you worry the most about, the ones who make you the happiest and the ones who make you the  saddest. As I hit thirty, I realize that family is what really matters most, because when all the cards are down and you are are at your worst, they are there. They are also the ones you party the hardest with when you are up. In my first 30 years, I have learned that it’s ok to not subscribe to gender roles or anything for that matter. I mean rules, laws, stereotypes, religion, education, are at the end of the day, all choices. Understanding that, has freed me in a way that I never knew I could be free. At the end of the day, I am ME, unique in every way and I have to love that. I have to embrace that being unique means that I will follow my own path and make my own commitments and choices. Hell, I am a big crier, and it’s a weird thing to admit as a man. I am ok with loving all my friends and letting them know. I mean, nobody is a mind reader so, if don’t tell people how I feel, then how will they know? It’s a small box that we are all encouraged to live in. This box has walls that define most aspects of your life, what schools are best for me, what jobs are best for me, how I should dress, what I should drive, who I should love, how I should love, why I should love, where I should live, I mean everything. But, fuck that, in my first 30 years I have learned for sure the no two paths are the same. In a very literal way, that is impossible, because of time and choice and circumstance, but mostly because we are all individuals. I have learned in my first 30 years that I am more spiritual than religious or evangelical. I mean I love God, but religion in it self goes against many of the principles that are innate human characteristic, but in that same note, religion is just what some people want and need. I love the quote Cassie told me “question everything you are most certain about.” It’s so contrary everything we are taught, but so freeing to simply ask “why.” It’s not a bad question, but in my first 30 years of life, the quotes by Einstein sums it up best “ if you can’t explain it simply, you simply don’t understand it well enough.” I realize that people who can’t make what they are talking about simple, they probably are still are trying to understand it then self. Where we get caught up is hitting mile markers and feeling burdened to now teach because we are supposed to be able to. At the end of the day, we as humans are simple, complex creatures of habit. So, your truth may not be mine, or maybe it is, but there is a truth for sure.  At the end of the day, I am thankful for all that life has given me, and excited about what’s next. Now, off to ATL!!!!!

Wedding Conversation

        So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.

        So, me and Cassie went to a beautiful wedding this weekend, and Had some very interesting conversations. One of the most interesting conversations was one about the dynamic of who I identified with most in the movie black panther. I had not thought about that dynamic prior to this conversation but after thinking through the two characters that were an option T’Challa and Killmonger, The choice was clear for me I definitely identified more with T’challa. I think that his background which didn’t include very much hardship, mixed with his views on diplomacy over violence resonated with me well. Also, the idea of taking over the world using principles that we have known to cause problems, seems like not learning from the past. So, the conversation went on to compare Martin Luther King and Malcolm X and once again I was more drawn to the principles and methodology of Martin Luther King. I believe that an approach of nonviolence is always the best. Unless, it is a fight or flight situation. The reason I believe that a nonviolent approach is always best unless pushed to violence, is because I never want to deal With the burden that white people coming from slave owner backgrounds now deal with. This burden is one of cognitive dissidents which has absolutely no positive attributes to it except for not acknowledging what has happened. I also would like to be remembered for positive contributions to society and not be remembered in infamy. To that end, I also find it interesting that many positively viewed white men also have a very infamous dynamic to their history, but that conversation will be for another day. 

Also, please enjoy this photo from the wedding

Anniversary

        So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.

         So, today Cassie and I celebrated our third anniversary. We have seen many highs and lows, good days and bad days but we have weathered the storm, and our love is stronger than ever. We have a tradition of gift giving for most holidays, but for this one, my love commissions a portrait of us. The hope is, that one day we will look back at 40 portraits and say “wow look how far we’ve come.” I look forward to building the mural of portraits that showcase our growth and evolution over the time that we have together. So here’s to us, three year strong, and forever ahead of us.

The Kids

        So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others

        Today I got a chance to talk about the kids being the future. I think it’s a conversation that’s not had enough. So many people think that phrases that raised the past are not applicable to the current or future. But, if we don’t learn from our past then we are damned to relive it.

     

Time, Time, Time

        So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others. 

        Today was the day of many small moments that help me realize that timing is everything. It doesn’t really matter if it’s timing for job or living in a certain place, timing always seems to be a key player. It’s funny because good timing happens in two ways. It happens because you’re always there which is something to be proud of, or because you were lucky enough to be there. I ask myself all the time which I think is better. Unfortunately, I have yet to come up with a consistent answer. Mainly because, I love to talk about being there all the time, but my life leans heavily toward being lucky. I also ask myself do I even really care. Regardless, I think that I have benefited from timing to living at this point in American history.

        We are living in a time where there is a massive shift in wealth happening , although it’s not representative of the demographic make up. Regardless, The shift is a very big deal that will have very real impact. The impact will be felt by all those who have survived and or benefited from the way things used to be. The shift has also open the door for many people of color to not except less. I am the first to admit that I am one of those beneficiaries. So, I feel an overwhelming responsibility to make sure that the doors of opportunity are not closing anytime soon. I am confidant Iwill accomplish this goal.

Eventful day

        So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others. 

        So today was an eventful day. One of my executives was let go, one of my peers has been all but black balled, and one of my peers received a job offer. Today was one of those days that you think to yourself, today was a good day.But it also made me think of how many things I may be doing wrong, and have no clue that I’m doing them wrong. I wonder if people are telling me, and I just don’t hear them. I wonder if that has held me back, pushed me forward, or put me right where I would’ve been regardless? In either case it made me think of a quote from a friend who said, and I quote “Life’s not short, death is just unexpected”. So, today was one of those days where I’ll just soak it all in and be thankful for the possibility of another day.

Keep Going

        So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others

        Today, I woke up feeling better than many of the days before. I woke up feeling like I could rule the world. But, why don’t I feel so confident every day? Confidence is something that I feel like I have in spades, but I still have bad days. In all honesty, I am thankful that I have the ability to believe in myself most days. But, I definitely have been aided by the support of my family, friends, and my girlfriend. I’m thankful and I look forward to a lifetime of love and support.

Long Day

         So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.

        As I traveled today I realized that we all have days when all we do is complete the tasks at hand. Today was that day for me. I started early and ended late, but when it was all said and done, I will admit, I felt good. I think there is something to be said for a day were you feel like you “earned it.” Now, what you earned is for you to define, but today I can say I “earned it,” can you? 

Doc's office

So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.

            Today I had a doctor’s appointment and it was a pretty normal experience. But during my time in the doctor’s office, I realized how much trust we put into doctors. I realized how little I have ever questioned the advice of a doctor. As I thought more about it, I have never even really said anything remotely negative to a doctor. I will admit that it is partly because my mom is a nurse, so by being raised around the medical field, I always held them in high regard. But, I also don’t really want to understand what they are telling me, because if it’s bad, I really don’t want to know.

            I will admit that I love to take the Mary Poppins approach to healthcare, by doing as I’m told, and hoping that whatever is in the medicine bottle will do more good than bad. Because hey, I know that “a spoon full of sugar, helps the medicine go down.” But as I continued downt the medical rabbit hole, I began to think about how many shot are “suggested” depending on the type of life that you live. If you are a big traveler, you should take this medicine and get that shot. If you spend a lot of time around animals, you should get that shot and take this medicine. If you are around children a lot well, you are screwed. But, I think that you get the point. There is a lot of medicine that is being peddled. At the end of the day. If you, eat healthy and exercise, you should be good.

Oscars

So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.

            Today as I watch the Oscar Awards Ceremony, I am given hope that a better tomorrow is on the horizon. There are so many changes that have been made during this year’s award ceremony. There are people of color, people of different ethnic backgrounds, people of different sexual orientations all represented in the ceremony. So, what does that mean?

            I believe what it means was best stated  by one of the actors during the ceremony who was of Indian heritage. He said, “I made a movie about an Indian man that represents my life and white people have to find a way to relate, and they should be ok with that, because I have been doing that my whole life.” That comment really resonated with me because we should all live in a world that allows us to be unapologetically who we are. That privilege has been one of many privileges that has only been afforded to white people. It has been a wonderful experience to see the movie industry change. But, the change is so much more than just movies, it represents how children will see them self in characters. This means that my god children will be able to see them self in films. This means that they will have the ability to see themselves as everything from superheroes to business leaders. This means that they will push to be whatever they believe they are good at. They will never feel like they have to stop at a certain point because of the color of their skin. They will never have to wish they were another color, so they could live without limits. That is so powerful to me. I can’t wait to see what the next few years have to hold.

Love

         So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.
        I think that too many people question the power of love. There is no reason to that, because at the end of the day, love conquers all. It's as simple as that. 

Own it

So, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my article. I realize that you could be doing a number of things other than consuming my content. I also want to thank you, because by participating, you are helping me fulfill my dream to share my message with others.

            Today as I was driving, I was thinking about the process of accepting that I am the owner of all my decisions, and what that really means to me. It means that no matter how much I want to blame other for the choices that I make, I have to own them. By doing this, I am able to grow as a leader, lover, and a man. I believe that as I slowly get better at accepting that I make mistakes and move forward, the stronger I become. I have learned to love the journey and every step that I take during my travels.